Our Life on the Funny Pages

When I first got this job, I couldn't understand why my boss kept making passes at me. I mean, OMG! He's so old, like, I so totally would never go out with him. As if! Once I met his wife, though, I had it all figured out.



Now, Gen. Halftrack is not a looker, that's for sure. But he is the OIC of Camp Swampy! I just think a man that powerful should get a hotter wife. Alan Greenspan's not good looking, but he's head of the Federal Reserve, and Andrea Mitchell's not bad.

Anyway, when I first saw Mrs. Halftrack, my jaw dropped! She's got a beer belly, old lady hair, and saggy boobs. She seems very grandmotherly, so I just thought she'd not aged well. I wonder why she hasn't had any work done. The Halftracks could afford it, and it would probably be better for the General's career if his wife looked better at fancy parties and stuff.

I thought she was probably very sweet and dear. Then she opened her mouth. Not only is she terrible looking, but she's also mean as a snake! I mean, just the other day she yelled at him to get his own cofee. Yeah, I get irritated sometimes always getting his coffee, but I get paid for it, so no biggie. I don't know why she had to get so bent out of shape over it. He wasn't talking to her, anyway.

No wonder Gen. Halftrack's always putting the moves on me.

I know it's like totally gross, but sometimes I wonder about their sex life. I mean, do they ever "do it?" GROSS. But, still, I get this mental image, and can't stop thinking about it. EWWW. See, now I am doing it again. I think the Gen has to be on top, or she'd crush him. They don't seem all that affectionate, so maybe they don't have sex. That's a better thing to think about anyway.

XOXOXOX!
Hugs and kisses from Camp Swampy!