Our Life on the Funny Pages

By the time kindly Brother Olaf had explained himself, Hagar was on the front stoop demanding candles, and lots of them. Unfortunately for Olaf, he had none. Even more unfortunately for Olaf, Hagar hates it when people promise him something and don't deliver (I got the beating of a lifetime when I told him I was going to order a delivery pizza, then went back on that after realizing they don't exist yet). Add to that the fact that this guy was preaching Christianity, and you've got yourself one hell of a potent concoction.

So Hagar runs in and grabs his sword and Olaf just stands there. I thought for sure he was going to be sliced, diced, and...individually priced, but apparently priests today are very well-versed in hand-to-hand combat. A spinning leg sweep had Hagar on his back, and a low roundhouse followed, knocking Hagar's sword from his hand. They really got into it then. At one point Olaf had Hagar in a half nelson, and Hagar started screaming, "EDDIE! HELP ME, EDDIE!" What was I to do? I got a big rock and threw it at Olaf, but he moved at the last second and it hit Hagar in the head. Luckily he still had his helmet on, but he was pretty worse for wear. To his credit, Olaf didn't attack unless it was in self-defense, so with Hagar on bended knee gasping for air, he high-tailed it out of there before Helga heard the commotion (And lucky for him, because she usually beats Hagar in a fight). Eventually Hagar passed out for a little while and I went in and had some pie. When he came to and asked me about the rock, I told him Olaf hit him with a bible when he wasn't looking. I think he believed me.

Oh, about that island we were stranded on last time I wrote? Turns out it wasn't an island, but the top of a really, really big fish. I guess it must not have been friends with the (comparatively small) fish I killed and ate, because it eventually gave me and Hagar a ride home. I named him Stanley!